JeSsIcA's JoUrNaL

FUN.....

2004-02-22T00:44:56Z

Today was so much fun for me... My aunt picked me up today at 9:30 and we went and got a pedicure. We then decided to go to TARGET.. YAY.... One of my favorite places. Then we went out to lunch at Applebee's... YUMMMMMMMM.. We went back to her house and I helped her in the yard (garden). My parents are going over there tonight for dinner and she is trying a new recipe so I helped her to start making dinner. But I don't feel like going to dinner with them.. I am going to go ahead and stay home and shit. But I have some homework I have to finish so yeah.. I am out ya'll.

What Is A Friend?

A friend is somebody
Who knows you and likes you
Exactly the way that you are.

Someone who's special
And so close in thought
That no distance can ever seem far.

A friend understands you
Without any words,
Stands by you
When nothing goes right.

And willingly talks
Over problems with you
Till they somehow
Just vanish from sight.

And whether you're neighbors
Or live miles apart,
A word from a friend gives a lift
To your heart and spirit.

That shows you once more
Why friendship is life's dearest gift!

LIFE SUCKS!!!!!!!

2004-02-21T01:41:40Z

Well humm let's see.... There are so many freaking liars. Zac and his brother are soooooo different. But, they have one thing in common and that is they both lie. I also hate myself. I don't know I just wish sometimes that I could have the one ex boyfriend I loved so much back. Of course I am always going to love him. But I mean I don't know. Blah Blah Blah Blaaaah... OMG... I wish that everything would go back to normal in my life. But I doubt that is going to ever happen. I am sitting here at the computer watching t.v. I have been hearing this song and it has had me thinking. Here are the three questions that are out of the song: Why am I dying to live, if I'm just living to die? Why am I trying to see, when there is nothing in site? Why am I trying to give, if no one gives me a try? Some people are so gay. People judge before they get to know someone. Someone did that to this guy today and that shit is soo gay... I don't know. Life sucks sometimes. Sometimes I wonder why I am living right now.. I am not suicidal or psycho. I would know if I was because I used to be suicidal. But hey I have moved wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy on from there. I only try and help people. Yeah whatever but I am out because I am watching a movie... YEAHHH!!!!!!!

~I can eat I can sleep
I just need another pill~

Suicide, a dirty word no one wants to talk about !
It still happens, in the US alone over 30,000 times a year and approximately 765,000 attempts. Suicide does not discriminate, it crosses all ages, races, genders and socio-economic groups.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!

2004-02-14T15:14:40Z

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE.... its 10:12 am SO my valentines day has not begun except for all the gifts my parents have gotten me and I am still waiting for one... YAY....... Yeah well I will come back and write in here when the day is done.

A FRIEND

A friend is like a flower;
a rose to be exact,
or maybe like a brand new gate
that never comes unlatched.
A friend is like an owl,
both beautiful and wise.
Or perhaps a friend is like a ghost,
whose spirit never dies.
A friend is like a heart that goes
strong until the end.
Where would we be in this world
if we didn't have a friend? <33333333333333

Whats the point?

2004-02-13T01:05:21Z

WHATS THE POINT?

What's the point of seeing?

When everything's a lie?

What's the point of believing?

When all you ask is why?

What's the point of life?

Filled with pain and strife,

And what's the point of me?

Filled with sadness and misery.

BLAHHHHHHHHH

2004-02-10T00:15:19Z

Blah, Blah, Blah,Blah....... SCHOOL FUCKING SUCKS........... ARGHHHHHHHHHHH... But yeah anyways another day where I don't feel like writing in the ish.

DREAMS
Where do dreams hide?
Maybe by your bedside.
Somewhere maybe you could see.
Or in the sky flying free.
Or far away in a foreign land.
Or under your feet beneath the sand.
Dreams are everywhere, you see.
They are in you and me.
Dreams are like clouds in the sky,
for you can reach them if you try.
And they will never leave a day,
for dreams unfilled will always stay.

blah blah blah.............

2004-02-09T00:04:59Z

I don't feel like writing in here tonight about my weekend... Though Matt I loved Friday night. Thank you sweetheart....

MISTY

My name is Misty I am but three

My eyes are swollen I cannot see

I must not be loved for I am punished by cigarette burns

I must do right I can't not do wrong or else I'm locked up all day long

When I wake up I'm all alone the house is dark my folks aren't home

I'm really just an expensive joke no more no less then speed or coke

Be quiet now! I hear the car my dad is back from Charlie's Bar

I hear him curse my name he calls I sqeeze myself against the wall

on my bed its too late his face is twisted into hate

I feel the pain again and again

Oh dear God please let it end

My name is Misty I am but three last night my father murdered me...

Im over it!!

2004-02-04T01:03:56Z

I am getting so tired of life.... There is so much stress with me right now and I can't handle it all.... I have been taking mass shit to help me either stay awake or to help me concentrate. It's ridiculous. I just wish this could be a stress free world then I think a lot of people would be happier. Good Gracious.... Ok first off I am having family problems not with me or my parents. Then I have to deal with school. Not to mention my church class, exam scores, report cards, the new semester, all the damn drama, the anger and frustration that is building up inside, what people are expecting of me, plus more. I have become so stressed that I forget to eat. I don't know but it's just crazy these days. I mean there is this one girl who told me to go kill myself and shit and then she was like talk shit and natually I said no because there is no reason to start shit. It's so gay how people talk so much shit and then can't back it up. I know that some people don't even know me and they judge me from what they hear and that is so gay. "Don't judge a book by it's cover." Anyways I am out because I don't feel like typing anymore so whatever......... <333333

Bundles of fun

2004-01-29T22:36:04Z

Ok so today I didn't have to be at school until 9:25. So naturally I slept in. Then Katie was nice enough to give me a ride to school. We also stopped and got something to eat and picked Brandon up. Well Katie and I were taking the same exam which was horseshit. I love half days. Well later Katie came over and then Matt called me so Matt and Nik came over. Great times there.... HAHA... When Matt and Nik left Katie and I chilled here at my house for a little while and then we went to target. Great sunglass choice there. And omg the watch that she feel in love with... HAHA.. Well we were there so I could get some gloves but they were all sold out there. So K-mart is right across the street so we went there. Katie and I were looking for the glove section when uh-oh I had to run like I had a damn stick up my ass and Katie of course didn't want to be seen with someone running like that so yeah I had to run and by tampons and I just grabbed the cheapest ones not looking at what the look like.. Well yeah I ran up to find a line to stand in and I found one and at that time Katie found me and we grabbed some other stuff too. Well then the lady proceeds to tell me that her line is closed... Real Good Luck for me... bullshit... Well when I was looking for another line and Katie had just started walking out of the one we were just in the lady was like does she need to use the restroom and Katie said yes... Thankfully.. The lady had said that she has some feelings. Well she hurried the people in front of her and then she rang the tampons up and I gave Katie the money to pay and ran to the restroom.. Well I get there and open the box and find out they are cotton on a string.... FUCKING O.B.'s I was so pissed and there were 20 so I rolled one out so Katie could see what they looked like and she laughed.. Well let me tell you it was weird.. And trust me I washed my hands after that NASTY ASS SHIT... I got out of the restroom and Katie was like when I was paying the lady said that she felt bad and it could of been her. Thank god it was that lady that saved me.... Well yeah when we were leaving we saw the quarter machines and I went and got some of that fake bling bling yo.. Because you know how everyone be keeping it gangster.. LOL... But yeah I had another quarter and decided to weigh myself and I weigh 90 FUCKING pounds... what kinda shit is that..... BLAH BLAH.... yeah Katie great times kiss me kiss me.... HAHA oh and can't forget "Will you go out with me?" great times..........<333333

a lot has gone on!!

2004-01-27T00:12:47Z

Today was great... My cousin and my friend Chelsea came over to "study." Wow it was great. My cousin and I went outside in our bathing suits and had fun. Chelsea was to scared to go outside in the cold in a bathing suit, but it wasent that cold out. Well we did study a little and I know my VA and US History inside out now. I need to study a little more before tomorrow's exam. FUNNNNNNN!!!!!!!! Damn yeah last night I had to finish this long report because I couldn't count on the fact that we werent going to have school today. But hey it's out of the way and done. Now I am sitting here with Chelsea and waiting for dinner to get done so we can eat because I am soooooooooooooo hungry.. Zach is such an asshole. I can't stand his punk ass. I know he is going to burn in hell. My ex boyfriend who for some gay ass reason I am in love with is being a jerk off to me. Yeah way to go since you are in a bad mood. Don't ever ask for anyting from me again, I am not here for you anymore. (no its not Chad either). Yeah and Majkut and I are chill now which is awesome. And I hope I can work everything out with Ashley. I know she can't stand me but I still care about her and want to be friends with her again. Hopefully everything will work out for the best. Well yeah i am out everyone..... <333333333333

AWESOME

2004-01-13T00:19:03Z

I had court today for reckless driving and driving without a license. Well when I went up when my case was called up all the judge told me was that I had to pay $50 for each ticket which was two tickets. I didn't get my license revoked, I didn't get community service, and I didn't get prohbation. I AM THE FUCKING LUCKIEST PERSON... THANK YOU GOD......

oh

2003-12-21T13:51:56Z

Life's a bitch and then you die!!! I can't believe some of the shit that I have been through this past week. I can't seem to deal with some of the shit I have been through. I want to kill someone. I know how but I can't go to jail. I am only 16 and why would I want to. School ugh. Kyle. He and I are friends and I remember Friday but I don't know. I just like need him to you know talk to. He and I are really good friends and someone I can talk to. He is an amazing person. I just need someone like that in my life right now. I am being good. I don't drink, smoke pot, or cigs anymore. That is good. I have damn court on January 12. I may only have to wait 6 months before I can get my license and that is a lot better than I am 18 or 21. Well yeah I am going to roll out of here and wait for Kyle to go ahead and come over so we can bounce out of here and go chill.

wow

2003-11-07T21:24:26Z

WOW I definitely haven't updated this in a long time. Well yeah I am not going to go into all that I have not talked about / missed. There is one thing that is really making me upset. Kristin talking shit about my girl Becca. I am tired of it like no one would believe. She just needs to shut her mouth. I mean seriously. Becca never gets shit talked about her unless it is by Kristin. Obviously Kristin doesn't realize that she is the one that gets all the shit talked about her. I am not getting in this but it has pissed me off to see that KRISTIN is talking shit about Becca. Becca is a gorgeous young girl. She is smart, nice, and she was the one that was asked to go to homecoming by Wes not Kristin. I hate that Kristin is still talking shit about everyone cause I know that no one likes the beast anyways. So Kristin if you read this take into account that you need to stop talking shit about my girl and that you need to wake up and realize that no one likes you.

yesterday was the shit

2003-08-24T13:35:18Z

Yesterday i went down to my cousins house cause we had family down and shit and we swam in the pool. Then we wanted to go down to ecsc to see if they had gotten anymore shirts. Well we ran into Lauren and Shaun. So we just chilled with them. Well we got our shirts and then all 4 of us went around and got free shit cause we wanted to be gay. lol. Then we went into the Ocean for like 30 minutes and it was warm as shit. Well we all were coming home and shit and i gave shaun and lauren my number cause we were going to to hook up later on. So me and my cousin went back to her house and i swam with some little kids to help them cause they were so small. Then my friend Diane came over to my cousins house and swam with us. but my cousin was getting ready for work cause she had to be there by 5. Well we Diane and i swam for like 20 minutes then we decided to go back to my house so we could go to ecsc. When we were down there Shaun and Lauren called me and we hooked up and we all went back to my house and then Diane left and me Shaun and Lauren all went back down to the beach. We had a fucking awesome time. Even though we know we are not supposed to go into the water past 5 we did it was even warmer then before. It was great. I loved it. Well we are all going to chill tomorrow and go to the beach.

fun......

2003-08-23T14:39:28Z

well yesterday was all cool adn shit cause me and my cousin chilled and went to ecsc which was boring. Though we ran into Ernie and Stevo. We called up Kyle to see what he was doing and Ernie told him to come down but Kyle had some lame ass excuse. So after me and my cousin walked around a little more we went back to her house and swam in her pool for about 10 minutes and then we went to my house so i could change and then we went ot Kyles house and chilled there for about 5 minutes adn i stayed but Lauren went over to Zachs house. Then after Lauren left Kyle and i went in his pool and after about an hour Lauren came back and she got in but she didnt stay long cause she had to go to work. Kyle and i stayed at his house for about 2 hours then we went to my house and chilled. We went for two walks and we went back down to Kyle's house. We chilled there for about an hour and a half. Then went back down to my house and chilled for like 2 hours then he left to go to Zach's cause he and Zach were leaving for North Carolina the next morning. i love Kyle.

What a day

2003-08-21T18:55:36Z

Well first my friend called me this morning and she drove over here and we went down to the beach to check out the ecsc. Not much it was really boring. She also had her little sister and two of her little sisters friends. Well we took them back home and she and i chilled at her house for like half an hour then went and took clothes to the good will. then we went to 17th street cause i needed a white shirt to go with on of my skirts. So we went and i finally found a shirt and she needed new shorts for work so i bought her a pair. Then we came back here and she got ready for work. I let her borrow one of my shirts for work cause i used to work there. Then it was so funny cause after she washed her hair she couldnt get it untangled that was funny. Well my day is not over so i know i will be back to add more for what happens next and tonight.

Hey

2003-08-14T17:21:54Z

yeah hey everyone. yeah i havent written anything in a long while. So yeah what have i been up to lately? Well lets see. Yesterday being Wednesday August 13 it was Me and Kyles 1 month anniversary. Though we didnt get to do anything because my ass got in trouble. Umm..i really hate how someone decided to get onto Kristins livejournal and say shit about me adn wes. And wes getting me pregnant. I dont appreciate that at all. I am just hoping that whoever it was will get the desincy to stop destroying other peoples lives. thank you. Well i am out.

hey everyone

2003-08-08T03:43:32Z

Hey yeah i definatly havemt been in here in some time. Yeah well here is what is going on if i dont repeat my self from the last entrie i put in here. Yeah i have a damn job at Mahi Mahs as a hostess. I love it there we are all like one big ass family. Its great. Yeah i love my boyfriend Kyle . Yeah also I am still in love with my ex boyfriend Jordan and i am going to try and get him back. Not lol. HAHA. yeah well anyways humm. What else???? yeah still smoking pot. hate the alcohol. I got to drunnk the other night and got really sick and thank god it was over at my boyfriends house cause he took care of me and then i fell asleep. He is the best boyfriend ever cause he takes care of me and he has THE best personality. He is so great but he leaves for bootcamp soon. BOO HOO. well yeah i am out of here for now but i will come back sometime dont know when. <3333333 please comment on this.

heyyyyyyyyyyyyy

2003-08-04T00:53:08Z

Yeah I haven't been here in a long ass time. Well I am just going to tell you what is going on in my life right now. Here it is.. Kyle israel and i have been dating for almost a month. i dont know anymore about us. It just isnt a relationship anymore. Yeah me and my ex chilled last night. I love Jordan. I always will. Well yeah i got a job and i am working at Mahi Mah's as a hostess. Yeah i think me and my ex are going to hopefully be chilling more often cause we have gotten so close since we have been working together. We are reaaaaaaaaaalllllllllyyyyyyyyyy close. Well yeah i am going to go.

last night kicked ass!!

2003-07-07T14:30:27Z

Last night I went to the Matchbox 20 concert with my cousin. When we got there it was so much fun. It kicked ass. Yeah well anyways we ran into Kellie Clark and her friend. They walked around with us until Matchbox 20 came on. Yeah I just wish that they would have sang more songs. Then after the concert we decided to go get something to eat over at this place in 7th street called Laverns. We ate nachos and got drinks. Then when we were done there we wanted to go pool hopping so we went to the Marriot and swam in their pool plus took two signs that we liked. Then we wanted to go to another pool so we saw this hotel but we passed and we went to go turn around and what happened was all these black ppl and wiggers started following us. So we had to get rid of them so how and eventually we did. It was so funny. Then when we saw a pool we liked we went to go park and this guy pulled up and askedus if those guys that were following us bothered us and i said yes and he said well i am going to go get all my navy buddies and i will take care of it. It was so sweet. I just melted up inside. Yeah well the pool we parked at the doors were locked so we went to the 7th street pool and we just went and jumped in and the guy saw us so we dipped. Plus we had another sign thatwe took that we liked. Well we ran adn then all of a sudden we hear this voice and the guy wanted the sign back so we gave it to him. We thought he was going to stop us and call the police. Well you had to be there to know how much fun it was.

SUMMER!

2003-06-29T01:00:10Z

I know that I am late with this but summer is finally here. WOO HOO!!!! well anyways this summer so far has been great. My boyfriend treats me with respect and always makes me feel loved. I of course treat him the same. Jarrad I love you. Well I hate life except for Jarrad. Life sometimes just beats the FUCK out of me and sometimes I just wish I just wish I was dead. Well I have come close to doing it but thanks to some great friends who obviously care about me. Roger Holmes, Ashley Pawley, Wes Heath, Ben Robelen, Brendon (portsmouth), and many many others. Thank you. My cousin Lauren is great. I love you sweetie. I love all my friends they are very supportive no matter what I am going through. Well thank you everyone. Ashley i had a great time with your house. LOL. Yeah Roger thanks for that ride. I love all my friends. Well so far I have been doing good. Well there is nothing else to write about.

I hate

2003-06-06T21:48:22Z

I hate how no one fuckin comments this shit

CRAZI

2003-06-04T00:54:11Z

Ok i havent been here in awhile but oh well. Well Friday Brendon came over and me, Brendon, and Ashley all chilled. Then Saturday I went over to AShley's and we called Wes and he came over. I stayed the night at Ashley's. It was pretty sweet!! Then Sunday I cam home early and just chilled out. Monday went to boring ass school and of course did nothing. Today I went to school and I was really pissed off at lunch because this kid Chris busted a water balloon all over me. So I was wet and it really sucked ass. But other than that I got to talk to my baby Brendon. I love that kid to death and I am really happy I met him. Plus I cant wait till this Friday cause he is coming to visit me. Then I think on Saturday Wes and Timmy are coming over and I am going to get Timmy's ass drunk as hell just because he is so cute when he is drunk. Well I am out.

LOST!!

2003-05-29T20:27:34Z

ok..so I havent been here in a while. This is what has been going on. Well to start off about 2 weeks ago I got 5 days of oss for dumping a slushy on this ugly ass girl named Kristen. It was so funny and the whole cafe saw it and a lot of people were happy it happened cause I know I was. The reason I did it was because she was talking shit and she was joking a friend of mine. Then I heard she was still talking shit so I went up to her and she denied it and Timmy said she was scared. Then she went and told Mrs. Chuy that this kid Wess was harrassing her and threateninh her and shit when he wasent. So Mrs. Chuy called him down and said to him that if anything happens to her its his fault. How gay is that. Today was pretty shitty anyways. It started off ok but then got worse as the day progressed. Here is what went wrong. Well I really dont like Spanish and could care less about it so I didnt do anything in class and of course I got talked to by the teacher. Then the bus ride home was ok. I dont know there was stuff that happened that I am not ready for. Then I find out that my sister Ashley is going back to school tomorrow and may not be able to face it because she is having problems with some people in school so I am going to skip all of my classes for her and go with her to all of her classes. Then I so cant wait for tomorrow after school. But I am going to go into detail about that tomorrow.

another day, another time!

2003-05-12T21:43:03Z

Right now I just wish that school was out and didn't have to put up with people's gay ass bullshit. Ok this is how I am feeling... I feel like no one cares. As if I were to die or commit suicide no one would care. But you know its not like that at all. I know a lot of ppl would miss me cause they tell me. Not to mention that sometimes I get the feeling of just wanting to slit my wrists ot my arms. Those thoughts are kept in my head and carried on to deeper thoughts, thoughts of suicide. I have and keep thinking of suicide. I try to ignore it but it keeps coming back like a horrible event. I know of ways to kill myself and I have thought about it so much that I know that if I was going to commit suicide I know the way that I would do it. Everyday for some reason or another I think about suicide and I just wish it would go away cause I am not the type of person to do something like that. I seem to be isolating myself, not eating, and thinking deathful thoughts. But why?? Why has this this thing come to me?? Of all the people in the world I ask myself why?? And you know what I have come to realize cause I let it without knowing it. But you know what I am going to over come this thing inside of my head.. Even if it means being put in a Psycho ward. Then that is what I will do..

Bad Mood!

2003-05-09T20:18:35Z

Today I have just had a bad mood all day. It's really weird cause I feel like I used to act. I had so much anger in me today. I don't know what was going on but it was really weird. Chris I just want to thank you for being there for me in lunch today. We have have gotten real close lately. But anyways... Ok for starters Math was great except for the fact that someone was there. Then 2nd block was great cause I just chilled out and really thought. Then before me, Kayla, and Erin went to study block Kayla had snuck out of p.e.(2nd block) and went into the lunch room with money and these guys went and got us smoothies from Tropical Smoothies. They were awesome. So before the bell rang for us to switch to 3rd block we went and met those guys near the auditorium and we got our smoothies. It was great. Then 4th block came it was great just because Stephanie was there and she always knows how to put a smile on my face. Then the bell rang for school to let out and my cousin had come over and both her and I werent in good moods so we snapped at each other me more than her. I feel bad. I didnt mean to I just have a lot on my mind right now and she is the least of my worries. Well the day isnt over and I dont know how it is going to end and I hope it ends well. Even though I am sick to my stomach right now. I hate that feeling so much it sucks.